Are we setting our expectations too high and are we grateful enough for what we have?

We know; it’s not what you want to hear. Lower your expectations and be grateful for what you've got? I may as well have told you to shut up and stop moaning. Not so; read on.

 I read an article about Finland this week who were just rated the happiest global nation for the 6th year in a row. 

By comparison, the UK slipped down the global happiness rankings for the 4th year in a row, now 19th. I’m going to say, not bad, but not great, and you will see why.

 I can imagine many reasons why the UK has slipped; just ask the Equality Trust, they have good evidence (cough: billionaire wealth, poverty, globalisation, corruption), and some good suggested solutions.

 Finland is known for their love of sauna, cold water therapy and love for time in nature, which works pretty well for me, but what can we learn about 'how we think ourselves happier'; and can we learn something from the Finns? 

The article referred to several Finnish sayings, 3 of which translate to:

·         ‘Happiness is a place between too little and too much’,

·         ‘The pessimist will never be disappointed’ and my favourite;

·        ‘Nothing is so bad that there’s nothing good in it’.

In other words, and assuming this carries into their culture, the Finns may embrace lowered expectations, gratitude for what you have, not resentment for what you don’t and a balance of optimism too, leaving a feeling of contentment “more often than not – well within reach”.

We see the ‘between too little and too much’ reflected in evidence for income. In financial happiness studies, increases in income correlate to increases in happiness, but only to a point, about enough to live and have some left over, at which point you have to earn a heck of a lot more money to get much smaller increases in happiness. Cost of living increases for us may well have tipped that the other way then. Money isn’t the route of all happiness but having enough to live and have some left over matters.

If you are thinking a lot about wanting more, we may well receive help from staying more content with what we have, and lowering our expectations, not perhaps to expect the worse to happen, but not the best either. Perfectionism is a massive issue, and one we will explore later with the network focus on suicide prevention later in 2023.

As for the last saying, ‘nothing is so bad’; that suggests higher levels of optimism in the face of defeat, tough times or even trauma, combined with acceptance of circumstance. Relate this to those who overcome or find healing and recovery following traumas. A good recovery from trauma includes establishment of safety, empowerment of the survivor and restoration of relationships, all of which may be a better experience than the persons prior living situation and are all effectively positives for that person. Its certainly one way to look at it.

It all sounds a bit old school, but what if we had a properly evidenced every day model to point at to take our own actions in our lives to be happier. A model that helps us to personalise our own wellbeing practices of gratitude, contentment, and helps us recognise reality when high expectations are getting a grip of us. Well, we have, and once again, it’s a UK based international campaign called Action for Happiness.

The website for the campaign is www.actionforhappiness.org, includes a happiness app for daily nudges, a free 10 day online coaching programme, regular webinar talks and a monthly calendar of wellbeing ideas

The campaign hangs it all on a simple model that we can use to individualise our journey to being happier, called GREAT DREAM. Take a look at the site today for you and in the work, you do with the public.

The wellbeing network did its first event around Action for Happiness in October 2022, and asked 10 local experienced experts to present for only 8 minutes each on one of the 10 areas of GREAT DREAM and you can take a look through that in our previous blog here >

So good luck, think about lowered expectations in your own life (not too much), practice more gratitude to find balance and of course, have a GREAT DREAM.